“Intersectionality; Race, Gender, and Disability, American Courts, Interracial Marriage + Divorce”
I'm compelled to share my story about an interracial divorce and the "power gap" that I witnessed firsthand. Analogous to the concept of the wage gap, THE POWER GAP, is the power differential between women of color and white men (similar to the largest wage differential), acutely felt on an interpersonal level in interracial relationships. In an article, I'd like to share the stark differences I experienced in the Court and financial system compared to my cis-gendered white husband, who seemed to be favored at every turn. He even escaped full responsibility for child support payments, when many men of color often end up in jail for similar failure to pay child support.
To give you a taste, here is a recording from my appeals court oral argument related to my appealed child support order. Among many things, I appealed the child support order because of the failure of the Court to offer me Court-approved disability accommodation, discriminatory treatment, and prejudice.
Another example is during the peak of the COVID-19, my husband vindictively froze my bank accounts at multiple financial institutions based solely on my divorce petition. This is not legal or standard practice to freeze accounts based on a divorce petition alone. This came at a particularly challenging time as I was unemployed and responsible for the care of our two young children. Astonishingly, it took several years to unfreeze my accounts due to the bank and the court assuming his legitimacy as the account owner, disregarding the fact that I had opened the accounts and held the primary account holder status.
Here is my open letter to a federal judge:
I wish one day, my pain would be valued the same as my ex-husband's.
My voice would be just as loud and garner the same response and attention.
The fight for my rights and human dignity in the Court system would be seen as justified and normal as his and not as it’s been called as “rabid,” “aggressive,” and “the first time in thirty years.”
That banking for me would be as facile for me as it is for him, instead of fighting for years for simply the right to not have my bank accounts not frozen at the height of COVID-19 with two small children.
That one day, I would be seen as just as human as my ex-husband.
~ My Open Letter to Federal Judge, on November 21, 2022, Case No. 4:21-cv-01111-DMR
After sharing my experience with other women of color married to white men, they started recanting similar stories about the lack of social and financial power in comparison to partners.
I'd love to share my story about my experiences and the power gap and how it's seen most clearly in the pairwise comparison of experiences in interracial relationships.
