Carol Smaldino

"S" words: sassy, seasoned, spunky, sensitive (highly), and yes, senior.

I think on the spot and tend to be spontaneous and direct. I appreciate nuance and am a deep thinker, albeit not a dry one. I tend to be intuitive.

I have had my share of trauma, which I discuss in the book, and would be willing to on a podcast. It isn't sensational, but for a therapist to admit this stuff can be seen as such. I started thinking that "understanding" could substitute for working through or out, and that approach didn't work well. I wanted to save others, and it took me some time to realize that this would not save me. You could say I'd still like to save the world — that kind of thing is slow to die.

I like to talk to strangers, often preferring them to people I already know. I love Italy, speak Italian, am an Italophile and have an Italian husband of almost 55 years. I am a Jewish New Yorker, lured to Colorado by my daughter Emma. I feel out of my element except for the progressive laws (psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy), and we do have a gay Jewish governor!. We had a home outside of Lucca, Italy, for just under 20 years, and now we're feeling a bit lost without it.

I have an alter ego, whose name is Doctor Ethel. She came on sort of a rescue mission for me about 15 years ago when I was so sad about the world and desperately needed my zanier parts. She came alone, clad in orange from head to toe, in an English accent I hear is not too shabby. Kelly Carlin told me I should take her to Instagram, and I'm hoping to do so soon. Kelly also said she is still trying to get the hang of good podcast matching, but that I could drop her name if the occasion came up.

I am a clinician, still practicing at 79, and I tend to identify with patients or clients more than with most therapists, except that the trauma people, led by Gabor Mate, are singularly humble.

As a potential podcast guest, I'd rather not say anything more for now. After all, we've just met, and I know very little about you, any of you, that is.

I'll just say that my favorite mode of talking is conversation, not speaking to a large audience.

So I'll say ciao for now, except to add that it appears I'd still like to save, or at least help the world. I continue to work on myself and my relationships. I love my kids and I'm bonkers about my grandchildren, who range from 5 to 10 years old. Two are in California.

Oh yes, I have a dancing mind, and I realize that I said some lines that I'd end this self-description. But then, one thought followed another. I don't tend to be scripted or stilted, but you may already be getting that. And also, I can talk about my past or trauma in general without spilling emotion or tears, as a rule that is.

Geez, do people go on and on during a first meeting?

And yet, I hang out for more. I had to mention Carl Jung and the concept of the shadow. What we hate or fear, we tend to hide — often unconsciously —in a compartment he called the shadow. There, such emotions fester, frequently becoming projected onto others we proceed to blame, often enough to hate, to demonize, and at times to kill. This accounts for a significant portion of the polarization we see now, which includes a tendency to fear and even degrade vulnerability itself. As part of working in this field of shadow, we need to face and work through our own fears of different aspects of ourselves. Not the easiest thing, but rewarding and liberating because hiding important feelings is depleting at best.

And without vulnerability, there can be no empathy, and without empathy, we are in such deep trouble, or you know the four-letter word.

Oh, and by the way, I was the host on my own podcast, which is pretty good, and I had some great guests. I have only been on one podcast, but Kelly Carlin, daughter of George, believes in me and has given me permission to mention her name. I suppose you'd have to be willing to be surprised in the positive sense, and take a leap of faith as well.

And I thought I was done!