“Toxic Masculinity Generational Trauma Alcoholism Parenting Weight-loss Mindset Habits Growth Its only been 3 yrs. Let's talk about it!”
I keep growing, so should my profile.
In the 14 months from October 2022 to December 2023, I have been on over 40 different podcasts and interviews talking about my journey of personal development and growth. In the beginning, I was learning a lot about this space and how I could learn to share my vulnerability and experience with my old self. I have been really enjoying meeting new people and having great conversations and hope to continue that as much as I can.
I have worked for 17 years as an Electrician, the last 6 as an Estimator and Project Manager. I have volunteered on a fire department since 2003 and just passed my 20th year of service. Both are traditionally very masculine and have carried an expected lifestyle with them that I felt I had to embrace. A lifestyle that I will sum up a bit further down. Coming from a family where alcohol was the center of all celebrations, social gatherings and has served as a right of passage through many events, I naturally developed a relationship with it that would get progressively worse. Leading up to the end of 2020, I had reached a personal rock bottom. This rock bottom for me consisted of a combination of everything I had in my life at the time and everything I felt that I was lacking. Having spent my entire life going up and down in weight, struggling with food addiction, my habitual relationship with alcohol and the toxic masculinity that made me feel I couldn't open up, couldn't talk about it and couldn't show weakness. It was this mentality and mindset that made me feel I had to suck it up, be a man and fix it myself. This was not going to prove well for me if I didnt do something about it.
Ending 2020, I found myself at my absolute worst. I was 320lbs, miserable both physically and mentally, cynical, negative, impatient and a melting pot of many other things, including my abundance of drinking alcohol and overeating. This was made that much worse with COVID and the many stay-at-home orders and all that came with it.
I didn't know what to do and I felt everyone around me was tired of my attitude. I would have been. In a desperate effort, I started doing something I had never done before, I started journaling. This journal wasn't pretty. I beat myself up and was not nice to myself and my situation at all. However, this started to make me feel good as I could outlet and not have any judgement thrown back at me or questions about my stability. Maybe I was on to something. I was, but there is no way I was telling my friends about it. They would surely never let me live it down.
I kept journaling as I challenged myself to try taking a break from drinking. I would open up to more things that would help me in my transformation. I was reading and listening to books, listening to hundreds of hours of motivational podcasts and interviews and compounding every bit of it as I tried to implement the things I was absorbing. I would challenge myself to be sober for an entire year (2021) and would maintain my journal throughout. This journal would eventually become my self-published book called "Going Dry - My Path to Overcoming Habitual Drinking". This has changed my life but this was only year one and I wasn't finished there.
Since this book was released, I have maintained my sobriety, started endurance running, have lost over 100lbs and completely changed my mindset and identity. Something that I have been able to maintain as I share with as many people as I can through my social media platforms, personal website, newsletter, podcasts and in person workshops.
Change is hard and with the right motivation, we can all do it. We just have to give it time and be patient.
This isn't a journey specific to one thing. It is a combination of everything I have been able to work through.
Send me a message and let's have a chat.