Mandy Nicholson

My name is Mandy and I am neurodivergent Gender Relationship and Sexual Diversity affirmative Counsellor, CBT and Dialectic Behavioural Skills training therapist.

I adore my job and all of my clients are GRSD/LGBT+ people. I have 12 years experience of working within the LGBT+ Community and 10 years Counselling LGBT+ people. It is my greatest privilege and honour to do so. It's a worthwhile investment for me even if only one person is enabled to live authentically as a result of feeling safe enough to connect with themselves more fully. Nearly all of my work is longer-term and as a result I operate a waiting list.

I also integrate Mindfulness and Emotional Freedom Techniques, CBT and DBT, Trauma Focused CBT and CPT into my practice to help regulate and restore the brain and body after trauma.

Society is hetero, mono, and CIS normative and as a result many Gender, Relationship and Sexually diverse people are prevented from feeling safe-enough to connect with and fully love and accept themselves. This results, for many people in splitting from aspects of themselves and repressing or suppressing gender, sexual or romantic thoughts, feelings, desires and experiences because of internalised, bi, homo or transphobia. GRSD people struggle to successfully complete many key learning and social developmental stages as quickly as a direct result of hate crimes, minority stress, microaggressions, harassment and bullying and lack off education in wider-society,. This can lead to developmental delays, feeling and being othered, along with significantly increased risk factors for experiencing poor mental and physical health.

This is why I am passionate about working with GRSD people by creating a place of safety for people to feel seen, visible, heard, validated and accepted. Safety, safe spaces, patience and self-compassion is required for people to work through the impact of unconscious self-abandonment, to connect with, integrate and embody their place in this world (where it is safe to do so).

The most fundamental human needs throughout all life stages is primarily to attach, connect and belong in order to ensure survival, but we also crave and need authenticity in order to know that we are deeply loved and valued. Our minds and bodies are primed to survive, and belonging to a tribe or pack is essential to survival. However, in a society, families, school or work environments we often have to compromise our authenticity in order to belong, be safe or avoid being vulnerable. This causes anxiety, stress, distress and traumatic-invalidation and a sense of imposters syndrome feeling unable to trust that we are deeply loved and accepted, as a result of being inauthentic.

All of my clients are GRSD and neurodivergent and therefore all of the work that I tend to do is longer-term. On average GRSD people have double the number of therapeutic sessions through having to educate their therapist. This is a source of discrimination. It also can take a great deal longer for LGBT/GRSD people to develop trusting therapeutic relationships. Many people have experienced trauma, dissociation and traumatic invalidation at the times when they had their greatest needs for safety, attachment, connection and belonging.

This is why I have a trauma-informed 3 phase approach to therapy starting with phase 1, building safety and finding new ways of connecting, coping with and regulating emotions. Phase 2 involves processing traumatic or distressing feelings and experiences using a mind, body and triune brain approach. Finally, we work towards integration and building a life worth living and increasing trauma growth in order to thrive.

I am also passionate about educating people about the impact of cis, het and mono-normativity, discrimination and homo and transphobia, in order to influence people to gain insight. This awareness is crucial to building communities where LGBT/GRSD people have safe spaces to connect with themselves and other people authentically.