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Elizabeth Hendrick

“Elizabeth Hendrick shares with unflinching honesty the process of coming to terms with her sexuality and learning to love who she truly is.”


About Me

I’m a fun-loving British woman, aged 52, currently living Tokyo with my sweetheart (a Japanese lady, two years my elder). We've been great companions, together now for five years. She’s not into BDSM at all, but I’m fine with that. 

I love: reading, writing(!), music (I sing in a choir), hiking in the Japanese mountains, Bikram yoga, fine wines, travelling and generally enjoying life’s indulgences when I can afford them. My friends would describe me as adventurous, extremely kind, fun to be with, but a bit crazy. Oh, and I do love a good cup of black coffee. Apart from my coffee vice, I try to live very healthily. I eat raw vegetables every morning, and I took specific steps several years ago to curb my heavy drinking habit. I’m indebted to my parents who, through upbringing, equipped me with the necessary tools to survive, such as self-discipline, will-power, and the ability to pull oneself up by one’s own bootstraps.

Over the course of my life, I have lived and worked in London, Paris, Tokyo, and Dubai. I speak fluent French and conversationally fluent Japanese. About seven years ago, I quit my promising career in financial services, to focus on writing my memoir! I've since secured several sources of part-time income including working in a call centre, teaching business English privately to Japanese bankers, hosting English conversation hiking groups (this pays very well), and voice narration. The combined income of all this just about keeps me afloat!

Life is great; however, for much of my life, pretty much until the age of 45, I was deeply miserable over my sexuality. This led to some shocking and extreme activities during my adult life, until I learned to love myself - the story of which forms the basis for my memoir.  These days, I still go to fetish parties and hang out with my fetish friends, but I don’t actively engage anymore. I really think the S&M activity was because, at a subconscious level, I believed I deserved to be punished. 


During my first entrepreneurial project to launch a film magazine (in 2005), I developed the practice of keeping a diary of events. It was my cathartic response to dealing with the stress of heading up an underfunded start-up. Since then, I have kept records and written various memoirs covering all my formidable life experiences. I kept a diary of all my traumatic relationships too.

EXODAI is the first book (memoir) I have decided to publish. I was compelled to write about my struggles with my sexuality and narrate the story of how I eventually learnt to love myself, placing particular emphasis on my S&M relationship with a Japanese dominatrix.


- I’d love to dispel the fearful myth, propagated by religion, that being gay is an abomination to God! (especially in the USA). This very myth caused me so much heartache and struggle, because I believed it for a very long time.

- I really hope that EXODAI gives a relatable voice to the struggle that many members of the LGBTQ community feel in living with their sexuality and learning to love themselves.

- I also want to raise awareness of what we are doing to our youth by alienating them, or by not allowing them to be true to themselves.

- I want my book to help people who are in situations of abuse (whether in the workplace or at home), perhaps as a result of being ostracised (or bullied) at a young age. I want to bring light to those who are in denial!

- I want to emphasise that in all situations, when you apply love and forgiveness, the situation will yield fruit (either the situation ameliorates, or a new approach is revealed)

- For the uninitiated, there is stigma attached to BDSM – that it’s deviant, perverted, sordid, evil. I want to open the eyes of the reader showing them that BDSM is multi-faceted, magnificent, and even spiritual at times.

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Elizabeth Hendrick

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“Tonight, I am going to be tortured for the woman I love …” A Shockingly Honest Memoir of Love, Obsession and Torture Elizabeth’s drives and desires have always been unusual. Beginning in early childhood, her need for love and suffering took her from the prim surroundings of a Norfolk girls’ school to the secret, latex-clad, rope-bound, whip-lashed delights of the Tokyo fetish scene. Not for the faint-hearted, EXODAI tells the true personal story of how Elizabeth Hackford learned to love herself through a physically and mentally tortuous relationship with a Japanese dominatrix.

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